The poems posted on this page are original works by Author A. W. Nutter. Reproduction or use of the poems is not permitted without first obtaining permission from the author.
The blindfold secured eliminates your vision
Disguising the tormentors devious intentions
As your clothes are removed you begin to cry
Made helpless when the bindings were applied
Cold chills begin cascading down your spine
As your unshorn hair is ruthlessly entwined
Around his large calloused fingers so tight
He’s laughing as your screams fill the night
A rancid voice whispers to his favorite toy
Of dreamed perversions he is about to employ
Begging for his mercy falls on deafened ears
As his hands caress the flesh hope disappears
Can you feel the pain and humiliation endured
Feel sympathy for an illness that cannot be cured
Abused children’s lives can never be rewritten
They require love and someone willing to listen
Suspended in a darkened shroud
Screaming but making no sound
Naked and vulnerable feeling alone
Time standing still in the unknown
Unable to stop the body from trembling
As the scenes from life begin revealing
Sins and atrocities which were committed
Secrets on display nothing being omitted
Seeing Satan striding through the lake of fire
His torturous kingdom is of no desire
The spirit retreating into its earth bound shell
Safe from persecution at least for a spell
Suddenly awakening from the nightmare
With a sulphur odor still lingering in the air
Guilt washes over this earth bound form
On bended knee he prays for reform
In each of us two unique spirits reside
The one is a Jekyll the other one Hyde
Based on life’s elixir which we consume
Dictates the visual essence of our costume
Once your spiritual choice has been made
The offended party will begin a crusade
Searching and striving for your validation
Trying to destroy the chosen foundation
Creations granted with freewill soon find
None are immune to temptations of the mind
Two entities bartering for an unclaimed soul
Waging an ancient war trying to gain control
Shadows slowly devouring the land
Light giving way to the moons demands
Fear mounting as the sun disappears
Trying in vain to hold back the tears
Sacrificial lamb prepared for the night
The Lord’s Prayer he begins to recite
Clinging on to sanity trying to survive
Waiting on the angel of light to arrive
Soft laughter invades his nightly prayers
As a hand smoothes back his wayward hair
Another night of torture is about to begin
Angel of light committing an unforgivable sin
Searching for the sea of tranquility
Trying to escape the mental instability
Consuming the fear filling my chalice
Teetering alone on the divining precipice
Screams for answers fall silent in the void
One step closer to sanity being destroyed
Must find a way to retreat from this ledge
My life will be over if I slip over the edge
Feelings of anger and hate vexing my soul
A rip in time that can never be made whole
The truth hidden behind an emotional disguise
Incurable mental demons will be my demise
In the dark recesses of your mind
Lay horrors no one wants to find
Secured with chains and mental locks
The keys to insanities building blocks
Painful memories searching for portals
To plague the souls of weakened mortals
Horrifying specter’s waiting to be displayed
Destroying your sanity in an endless tirade
Demons from the past is no illusion
Protect yourself, pray for absolution
Your darkest secrets cannot be exposed
Keep Pandora’s Box tightly closed
Evilness lurking in the shadows
Walking slowly toward the gallows
Physically abused now mentally sick
Left dangling above the River Sticks
Unable to control the minds subconscious
Reliving childhood with the body unconscious
The mans eyes closing, reality disappearing
Traveling back in time, a child is appearing
Mentally recreating your acts of depravity
Secured without chains in parental captivity
As the man awakens the child withdraws
Relief attained until nighttime falls
A voice echoes within my soul
Crying out to be made whole
Mocking sounds from the void
Resonant of a childhood destroyed
Trying to cope with the mental anguish
Memories you can never extinguish
Constantly searching for the answer
Looking to cure this spiritual cancer
Resemblance of sanity I try to maintain
The efforts sometimes, are made in vain
A two headed coin tossed into the air
One side filled with hope the other despair
An anger that can never be released
My vengeance will never be appeased
The closure I so desperately crave
Forever buried inside your grave
In the shadows silently lurking
Latent memories slowly emerging
Developing into a consuming fire
Fulfilling the sadists perverted desire
Unable to stop the kaleidoscope of pain
My psyche coated with an undesirable stain
Suffering from your hate induced infection
A child’s life void of parental affection
The drug of choice to appease your addiction
The sins of the father becoming my affliction
My family will never know of your existence
Denying you my only avenue for vengeance
During the night as you lay sleeping
Palpable thoughts are silently creeping
Colors colliding, scenes being created
Dreams carefully being orchestrated
Unencumbered by its earth bound form
The spirit waiting patiently to perform
Horror and fantasy, enjoying each one
Playing an integral part before moving on
Time to end the out of body experience
The human is missing the spirits presence
Until the inner eye once again can behold
Adventures and stories as they unfold
During the stillness of the night
The humans will always find
Visions invading the eyes closed tight
Images portrayed on the canvas of the mind
As the armored shell becomes transparent
Temptations begin to lure the spirit
Carnal knowledge was ours to inherit
Sins passed down through the parents
The spirit runs free cavorting with demons
Eagerly partaking in the forbidden
Not remembering the Saviors Sermons
Making sure each one is carefully hidden
As dawn breaks the spirit returns to its shell
Forced to retreat from the pleasurable sensations
Back to inhabit the human form for a spell
Before roaming free with Gods other creations
Every night I lay trembling in fear
Wishing I could make my body disappear
Eyes searching the room at every little sound
Praying tonight I wouldn’t be found
With quivering lips I try to stifle my screams
A small child living nightmarish dreams
In a room so small only one place to hide
Under my bed I quickly slide
I hear a crash and see my open door
As heavy boots cross the wooden floor
A calloused hand grabs my naked leg
Pulled from a safe haven I begin to beg
Spewing alcohol laced obscenities into my face
Rough hands probing causing my heart to race
Humiliation growing I feel so ashamed
Anger overflowing it’s me he blames
Time doesn’t heal it’s a fairytale a lie
Live long enough you get to see your demon die
Seeing him pass brings a joy that doesn’t last
A person can accept but will never forget their past
My reflection in the mirror reveals
Lines on my face from life’s ordeals
An old man staring back at me
The boy long gone, where can he be?
Looking intently I slowly find
A mischievous child laying dormant inside
Placed into a dark corner curled up in fear
With my encouragement he begins to appear
Come out little one I’ll let you stay
Never again will I tuck you away
A smile adorns our young and old features
Realizing we’re safe from predatory creatures
My reflection in the mirror quickly reveals
A new found freedom from life’s ordeals
Where once stood a hollow old man
Now stands one filled with his greatest fan
God bless the child in all of us.
In Washington stands a great wall
Politicians felt obligated to install
A memorial from a country in disgrace
For soldiers they refused to embrace
Held hostage in a political controversy
Fighting a war with compounded adversity
Trying to survive life and death situations
Hero’s betrayed scorned by their own nation
Called upon to protect and serve
Let history carefully preserve
On this great wall reside the fallen names
A gesture to hide this countries shame
My mind acknowledges the stabbing pain
Coursing through me like an intermittent rain
Hiding the discomfort with a smiling face
Suffering, an art form I learned to embrace
It was a very long time before I realized
My crying pleasured you while being victimized
Remaining silent as you practiced your perversions
Removed the joy from your sinful excursions
The childhood has vanished with the passage of time
Memories still drawn to the viciousness of your crimes
The body aches in silence, comfort I can not attain
The Sadist’s handiwork will always remain
Inducing pain was your favorite perversion
Excited by my screams, causing no aversion
You were the one responsible, the only culprit
Beating my body as you destroyed my spirit
There was no fetish you would not employ
My very soul you were able to destroy
Now emptiness pervades this earthly creation
From so much suffering and humiliation
Walking through life a hollowed out shell
Praying to God you're burning in hell
Holding on to my sanity I must not be remiss
Or I’ll fall over the edge and into the abyss
Perched high above the city street
Feeling comfortable in this lofty retreat
People like ants scurrying by
Unaware of my presence in the sky
Chilled by the coldness of the evening air
All my hopes have vanished I’m lost in despair
A life not worth living it’s too demanding
Dreams destroyed no happy endings
The torture I lived with was forbidden
I screamed for help and no one listened
The emotional scars run to deep
My only escape, step off this ledge find eternal sleep